Patroclus by Ilium (chainedphoenix@mymelody.com
)
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Disclaimer: All the people mentioned in this story existed somewhere either
in legend or in/around the fourth century BC, so obviously none of them belong
to me.
A/N: I used an alternate spelling for Hephaestion because that’s the way
I learned it and I can’t abide the spelling that the movie uses. Don’t squish
me. At least I know the difference between a Persian princess and an Indian
king. Grumbles about silly changes of history. Anyhoo... on with it.
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“Honestly, Alexander! Three
years have passed since he was sent forth and yet you still speak of Lysimachus
as if he were here. Aristotle may not automatically agree with you on
everything purely on account of your blood, but that does not make him any less
than the best. Are you truly so dependant on compliments as this?”
“If I were I would not be your friend,” Alexander replied dryly, humour
in his voice even as he glared at the one boy who dared not to shrink from
victory over the king’s son. “I am no Achilles. Lysimachus only flattered my
father when he called me thus.”
Hephaestion returned his friend’s glower with a gloating grin, blue eyes
dancing with laughter. “It is well. For I find the stories dreadfully dull, and
if you persisted in such mindless speech I would be forcibly excluded by right
of having no legendary epithet of my own, and just as forcibly included by the
duties of a friendship dear to me. Promise me you will not force me to listen
to such dreary nonsense.”
“Nonsense? How nonsense? Achilles was a hero, Hephaestion. We do
not have heroes any longer. No one has matched the feats of Heracles or
Odysseus in hundreds of years. Do you not wonder what the borders of our lands
would be if one such as Achilles lived now?”
“The borders are as they are, Achilles,” Hephaestion drawled
mockingly, using the nickname as the most earnest insult. Hubris could do no
man proud.
The slight struck well, sprung from one for whom Alexander held a
respect as deep as any sea. He was the son of kings, and a man like any other
all the same. Hephaestion should not know this better than he. Alexander was
groomed to greatness, but no greatness of modern men could match the feats of
Perseus or Prometheus. Gods, how he wished that he could – that they could.
Cautious suggestion clouded Alexander’s voice as he replied, a golden
wisp of hair slipping before his eyes. “It is as you say Patroclus, but we will
stretch them.”
Cerulean eyes sparkled in the suppertime firelight. Both boys would be
men in only a few years, but Hephaestion had not yet thought of any such unions
for himself, let alone with one his own age. It was an odd thought, but as soon
as the name of ‘Patroclus’ penetrated the smoke of the dining hall to within
reach of his hearing it left his lips of its own accord. “Patroclus, hmm? That
I could settle for.”
“As could I,” Alexander replied, pale hand reaching up to caress
Hephaestion’s blushing cheek. Hephaestion was struck by his almost god-like
beauty – perfectly sculpted body and flawlessly fair complexion, chin-length
hair of finest golden cornsilk that radiated royalty, cornflower blue eyes that
spoke of deeper insight than any fifteen-year-old had a right to. But above all
that, above the face, was the compassionate and perceptive soul that would dare
to stand and argue with Aristotle, of all people, about the rights of barbarians.
Of course, it was not only Aristotle that Alexander would argue with.
Hephaestion had spent hours debating with his friend over almost every topic
conceivable in the known world, be it political or philosophical, not that
Alexander ever saw a difference between the two. It was one of the most
endearing and the most enthralling things about him. No matter what the debate,
Alexander knew his side of it and fought until he saw fit, regardless of
the bounds of normal reason. By some twist of fate, Alexander had been born
with his own sense of reason, and somehow he could always make it seem
reasonable.
Clasping a hand to his friend’s shoulder, Hephaestion turned his head
away from Alexander’s callused palm to look into the crowded hall. Somewhere
closer to the fire than they, a flute and a lyre were playing, one and then the
other, back and forth and back again like a dancing snake. Women, young and old
alike, were dressed in vibrant colours, shades of emerald, sapphire and
amethyst swirling hypnotically, enticing wine-deepened laughter from the men at
the tables or against the walls.
Slowly, Alexander reached his hand to his own shoulder, covering
Hephaestion’s and drawing both of their hands to his heart. “How do women hold
men in such thrall?” Hephaestion asked, meeting his friend’s scrutinizing gaze.
Alexander smiled, recognizing the change in subject as no change at all.
“Women are beautiful,” he said, his eyes turning to his mother, swathed as she
was in scarlet silk and gilded jewels, “And they are weak, not always of mind
but always of body. Men dominate women. They capture their treasure, claim it,
hoard it, and use it to satisfy the instinctual greed that all men possess.
Women cannot rival men. They can be wise and powerful, but never as strong, and
that is all that counts. Men are strong, Hephaestion. Men turn to men for
submission that cannot be given to women, their inferiors, or for a greater
dominance than can be exerted over any foolish girl. A man’s beauty is not
petty like a woman’s.”
Catching his friend’s amused glance, Alexander grinned, toning down the
rising volume of his voice before he spoke again. “Besides, I think that I
shall never find a woman stronger than my mother, and I fear I am spoiled for
all those of the fickle sex. I know only strength. I value only strength.”
“Not wisdom?”
“Not wisdom such as Aristotle’s, if that is what you mean,” Alexander
replied, spitting his tutor’s name into the earthen floor.
Hephaestion’s lips curled up at the ends as he tried and failed to keep
a serious countenance. “You will never win against him, Alexander. He is set in
his ways and will not be shaken by a fifteen-year-old boy.”
“Sixteen,” Alexander interjected curtly.
“In a week. Let me revel in my old age,” said Hephaestion, though not so
very much older than his friend as the phrase ‘old age’ would imply.
“Old? Aristotle’s beliefs are old. The gods are old. You, my friend, are
a bud on an olive tree.”
“And just as pretty, I presume?”
“You degrade yourself, friend.”
There was a sudden flutter in Hephaestion’s stomach, though he could not
put a name to it for all the stars in the heavens. Joy, perhaps, or
anticipation, anxiety, desire – he knew not. Glaring into the ever more crowded
room, he touched the tips of his fingers to Alexander’s, then changed his mind
and clasped the fair-haired boy by the arm. “Come,” he said, “Let us go out to
the courtyard while it is yet warm.”
Alexander did not question, allowing himself to be dragged out
underneath the open sky. The sun had barely set an hour before but the silver
moon shone bright, casting a pale glow on the surrounding laurel leaves as they
whispered in the evening breeze. The stars glimmered like fireflies, seemingly
flitting in and out of existence. The world was welcomingly calm and quiet,
save for Hephaestion’s incessant fidgeting.
“You are flighty tonight, Hephaestion. Is something the matter?”
“I would that something were. Does nothing of interest ever happen in
this world? Day in and day out they celebrate - what? What do we have to show
for all the king’s pompous prattle and unachievable dreams?”
Hephaestion fell silent, fearing he had said too much, though Alexander
took the comment in stride. “An army,” he replied, “An army that can conquer
any land or defeat a foe that has us thrice outnumbered. Besides, we are not
subjected to their talk, what does it matter? I thought you did not care for
talk of borders.”
“And I thought you did.”
“Since when do you yield to me?”
“Since when does Achilles yield to Patroclus?”
“Perhaps since he fell in love.”
“Love is insignificant,” replied Hephaestion, though he supposed his
words could be proven true or false in varying contexts. Significance was such
a changeable and often unpredictable thing. The bow string only matters when
one has to shoot the bow.
“Perhaps,” was Alexander’s nonchalant reply.
Hephaestion glared at his friend, but Alexander put forth no more
concrete answer, utterly ruining his argumentative reputation. The picture of
the fair-haired prince standing over a map of coloured pebbles half buried in
the earth, quarrelling with older, wiser men over the political effects of the
relative location of one city-state to another was replaced with a picture of
an even younger Alexander in the courtyard, silently fingering a melody on his
flute and singing the lyrics to himself in a small, wistful voice. Perhaps.
Perhaps Alexander dreamed of more than war and bloody glory. Perhaps he still
sang to himself in lonely darkness. Perhaps he wanted to kiss Hephaestion as
much as Hephaestion wanted to kiss him. Perhaps foolish desire would get them
both killed.
“Achilles died for love of Patroclus.”
“Achilles died of an arrow to the heel.”
“He would not have been shot if he had not reentered the battle.”
“He would not have reentered battle if he had not loved Patroclus.”
Hephaestion was lost in Alexander’s stichomythic responses and bemused
by his seemingly changed heart. “What point do you argue?”
“That love defies reason, and reason is the only matter of
significance.”
With only a subtle softening of expression as warning, Alexander was
taken by surprise as Hephaestion stepped forward and slightly chapped lips
brushed against his own with the passion held by a lover, but in a gesture that
could easily be mistaken for a most sincere show of friendship. Not willing to
let another’s hesitancy stand before his own desire, Alexander deepened the
kiss, gentle fingers reaching up to entangle themselves in Hephaestion’s soft,
dark hair when he was sure his friend had not recoiled from his actions.
He poured his soul into the passion shared between the two of them,
letting it turn into a brilliant fire that coursed along his veins and made him
strong, stronger, strongest. When they broke apart, there was no doubt
left about their relationship. It was odd for two young men to be lovers, but
not necessarily frowned upon, and neither boy was worried about their chances
with other, older men at any rate. Alexander wanted dominance, Hephaestion
wanted devotion. Together they were whole.