"Hang on..." Harry muttered to Ron. "There's an empty chair at the staff table.... Where's Snape?"
"Maybe he's ill!" said Ron hopefully.
"Maybe he's left," said Harry, 'because he missed out on the Defense Against the Dark Arts job again!"
"Or he might have been sacked!" said Ron enthusiastically. "I mean, everyone hates him --"
"Or maybe," said a very cold voice right behind them, "he's waiting to hear why you two didn't arrive on the school train."
Harry spun around. There, his black robes rippling in a cold breeze, stood Severus Snape. He was a thin man with sallow skin, a hooked nose and greasy, shoulder-length black hair, and at this moment, he was smiling in a way that told Harry he and Ron were in very deep trouble.
(Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone)

What is this site all about?

Severus Snape, the spiffiest (oftentimes referred to as sexiest) Potions Master ever. For those transported from a Harry-Potter-less alternate dimension, Snape is a fictitious character from the Harry Potter series of books written by J.K. Rowling. He has been brought to life onscreen by the talented and beautiful Alan Rickman in the series of Harry Potter movies. Snape is a teacher at Hogwarts, a school for witches and wizards.

Jump to: Stats | A General Profile | Why We Love Snape

- Stats -

Date Of Birth – January 9, 1959
Appearance – Tall, sallow skin, greasy shoulder-length hair, wears black, thin, hooked nose, uneven yellowish teeth, strong black eyes
Temperament - Cold
Family – presumed diseased.
Lineage – half-blood. Tobias Snape (father, Muggle), Eileen Prince (mother, Witch)
Childhood – attended Hogwarts, was often victimized by other students, however “he was part of a gang of Slytherins who nearly all turned out to be Death Eaters” (Sirius Black’s description, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire).
Began attendance at Hogwarts – 1971
House – Slytherin
Career – Potions Master/Slytherin house head at Hogwarts since 1981, finally secured long saught-after post as Defense against the Dark Arts teacher in 1996. Due to recent events, he no longer holds this position.
Affiliation – Questionable. Snape has ties with both the Death Eaters and the Order of the Phoenix, was trusted by Dumbledore but not by others.

Jump to: Stats | A General Profile | Why We Love Snape

- Back to the basics: A general profile for those new to Snape-

Snape is first described on page seven of “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” as "....a professor with greasy black hair, a hooked nose, and sallow skin." Later, he is compared with the friendly half-giant grounds-keeper of Hogwarts, Rubeus Hagrid, "His eyes were black like Hagrid’s, but they had none of Hagrid’s warmth. They were cold and empty and made you think of dark tunnels". Later, in the same book, his dentistry is briefly examined: "uneven, yellow-ish teeth". His movement is oftentimes described as “bat like” and “swooping”.

His house, finally described in “Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince”, is suitably ominous. Somewhere in industrialized northen England, on Spinners End, is “a tiny sitting room, which had the feeling of a dark, padded cell. The walls were completely covered in books, most of them bound in old black or brown leather; a threadbare sofa, an old armchair, and a rickety table stood grouped together in a pool of dim light cast by a candle-filled lamp hung from the ceiling. The place had an air of neglect, as though it was not usually inhabited”. This is understandable as Snape spends most of his time living at Hogwarts.

But ho, you say, surely he must have been a strapping young lad? Not according to a passage from “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix”: "Snape-the-teenager had a stringy, pallid look about him, like a plant kept in the dark. His hair was lank and greasy and was flopping onto the table, his hooked nose barely half an inch from the surface of the parchment as he scribbled"

He is also by no means a nice man. He is constantly critical and obviously dislikes the book’s main character, Harry Potter. Many, who do not like Harry, consider this a virtue, but looked upon from an impersonal viewpoint, Snape exercises his considerable capability to be a terribly nasty man. Due to an adolescence of constant victimization by Harry’s father, James, Snape makes no bones about making Harry’s life a misery.

Add to this the final, terrible complication – Snape was a Death Eater. Death Eaters are servants of Voldemort, a dark wizard feared by many (and whom much of the story is based around). Hogwarts’ wise principal, Dumbledore, trusts Snape, who has been said to act as a spy for the good wizards during Voldemort’s reign. There are many who think he is still loyal to Voldemort, and despite his recent years of honorable (if a little prickly) behaviour, think that he will return to evil.

A more in-depth analysis of Snape's loyalties can be found at the HP lexicon.

Jump to: Stats | A General Profile | Why We Love Snape

- Why We Love Snape-

Why, then, do thousands of women (and quite a few men, too) see Snape as the penultimate piece of spiff? Here are some very good reasons (new, improved and completely substantiated...*cough*)

- Honorable - He may be mean, but when it gets down to the goods Snape keeps his word and doesn't like seeing other people being unfair ,especially when this contradicts his unfairness ("Ah well, Snape ... Harry Potter, you know ... we've all got a bit of a blind spot where he's concerned." said Fudge. "And yet -- is it good for him to be given so much special treatment? Personally, I try and treat him like any other student." said Snape -Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Askaban)

- Plain Speaking - He’s not backward about stating his opinion ( "I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death -- if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach." - Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone)

- Doesn’t like Harry et al - This can easily be seen as a good thing ("That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger," said Snape coolly. "Five more points from Gryffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all." Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Askaban)

- Complex - Not your average black-and-white children’s book character, Snape’s past, present and future is filled with questions and situations that transcend barriers of ‘good’ and ‘evil.

- Skilled - Snape's prowess as both a potions maker and powerful wizard is never questioned. He is darn good at what he does.

- Eloquent - No extraneous word is uttered by Snape, and his everyday speech oftentimes has an almost poetic feel. He has a thesaurus in his head, and isn’t afraid to use it.

- Intelligent - There's no doubt, Snape is one smart cookie.

- Deliciously Malignant - It is a joy to read/watch Snape being mean.

- Multifaceted Appeal - This is particularly observable in fanfiction – Snape’s character can easily be shaped into dominating, vulnerable, manipulative, manipulated etc. without too much loss of credibility. He fits neatly into many a fantasy.

In the Harry Potter movies, Snape is portrayed by Alan Rickman, which makes available a further plethora of reasons to love Snape:

- The Voice - Alan Rickman is renowned for having an exceptionally silky voice. Added to this is his unique Snape-ish intonation, which involves a generally low and quiet tone punctuated by precisely pronounced and spaced-out syllables. Click Here for a short sample.

(moving image © Warner Bros etc.)

- The Movement – Just as Alan Rickman brings a unique voice to the part of Snape, he adds a manner of movement perfectly in-line with the character. This noticeably involves often unnecessary but oh-so watchable clothing adjustments. (the image to the right is a motion capture from Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone that irrefutably proves my point)

- The Outfit – A perfect combination of swooshing cloaks and tight-fitting coats. Buttons abound, noticeably around the cuff and sleeve areas. Long sleeves, long cuffs and a high collar add to what can only be described as a drop-dead gorgeous outfit. (click on the image to the left for a full image that demonstrates this point, also observe the cloak in the image above) - Alan Rickman – Need I say more? Often referred to as one of “Britain’s sexiest men”, with every year he manages to get even more delectable. Top-notch acting is combined with an appearance to die for, accentuated by a black wig and sallow makeup (click on the image to the left for a full image that demonstrates this point)... In a word, "Phwar!"

(image © Warner Bros etc.)

So now you know all about the wonderful Severus Snape. Still want more info? Alrighty then.

Who built this site?

Name - Erin (aka dark_pheonix) Year Of Birth - 1988 (17 years old in 2006) Location - Canberra, Australia Occupation - Student Website - www.noingy.cjb.net Email - dark_pheonix7@hotmail.com Hobbies - Website building, dabbling in music, drawing, fangirling Oftentimes run from, the unique creature known as Erin (or Erinus Clampicus to those she clings to) has been seen to spend ridiculous amounts of time in front of the computer. She is terribly grumpy in the morning, but at all other times of day, she is so cheerful and happy it is actually scary. Among her many terrible habits are changing song lyrics to be about pie, dancing in inappropriate situations (such as Maths classes) and writing short profiles about herself in third person. She has two life ambitions: to remove Snape's sleeves and oggle the wrists beneath, and become a deep-sea tubeworm. She is currently making little progress towards both goals, owing to "Snape-itis", a terrible condition involving wasted hours staring at Harry Potter movies, books and merchandise.

So why do I love Snape so? Because he's brilliant! "Book Snape" is a fascinatingly complex character, the perfect foil to Harry Potter's rather bland "good" self. There's nothing like the thrill of enjoying every slight movement, tone of voice and subtle expression of the "Movie Snape". Nothing else produces such an indescribable chill up and down the spine as hearing him saying things even as mundane as "Take out your books". I was head-over-heels the moment he appeard in the first movie, and just like hundreds of others, utterly obsessed, and I've enjoyed every minute.