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Scrawlings: 20 Utterly Useless Ways To Describe Severus Snape And His Actions

1) His eyebrows fell, exactly the way an empty CD case secure on a shelf wouldn’t.
2) Utterly unlike a pine-tree, Snape swept along the corridor.
3) His voice didn’t even remotely remind her of an elephant.
4) Severus Snape grabbed Harry Potter, so angry that if he had a short tail it would have done nothing much.
5) He almost didn’t say something in a sort of softish screech.
6) The man named Snape looked just like the man named Snape. They were the same man.
7) I have no self-inflatable mugs, nor do I have any ants like the way Snape walked into the classroom.
8) Snape had a hat on that was so invisible, he didn’t actually have anything on his head.
9) Exactly the way he always did, Snape did something precisely the same way as the way he did it before.
10) Words were as useless as Snape in an apple-bobbing competition – you could shove them underwater, but they’d just emerge spluttering obscenities.
11) Snape said something distantly as he stood a distance from the thing he said.
12) The lack of wind ruffled Snape’s hair just like a weightless orange painted purple would.
13) He had buttons up the sides of his sleeves, because if he didn’t, then there wouldn’t be any buttons up the sides of his sleeves.
14) Snape glared at Potter so hard you could swear his eyeballs had turned into orbs of ferocious Glare-At-Potter round things.
15) His hand moved, slightly reminiscent of the time I stick five pegs to a ball of clay and waved it around, pretending it was my hand.
16) I had seen thousands of grown men break into tears exactly the way Snape’s elbows didn’t.
17) There were few words that could adequately describe Snape. “Sneeze”, “Ventricular” and “Corprus” were not among the few.
18) The inevitable occurred, and Snape acted inevitably towards the inevitable, which inevitably led to an inevitable inevitability.
19) The disco song that wasn’t pumping through the windows didn’t make Snape drop his potion and start dancing, much to the class’s bemusement.
20) Snape was a unique man, from his amazing bipedal nature to the number of grapes he could fit into his mouth before laughing and squirting grape juice all over a nearby cougar, enraging it to such a point that it levitated three stories and fell on top of a confused Muggle.

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